Character

1. I think that character is the center pole for several reasons. The first is a result of the quote that was shared at the very beginning of class which reads,  “Our research shows that a person who receives low marks on character has absolutely no chance of being perceived as a good leader.” If a leader has no character, then their other strengths are difficult to see and it ends up being very detrimental to the leader and those they lead.

A leader in my life who demonstrated character is the former mayor of Rexburg. I was on the Mayor's Youth Advisory Board all through high school and so I had a unique opportunity to work closely with him and some of the other city officials. I was on the board during election season one year, and there was a group of people in the city who started to slander him and make some heavy accusations. I can't imagine it was easy for him to have to continue serving as mayor through all the harsh words, but he continued to do his job to the best of his ability. Eventually he and his family made the decision to move because of the current situation. What impressed me about him was that he continued to serve diligently and to the best of his ability for several months after he knew he would be leaving Rexburg. Obviously he had no choice but to keep working, but the level at which he executed his duties was beyond what was required. This experience taught me to always do my best and to persevere through rough times. Those you lead won't always like what you're doing, but sometimes you just have to keep going.

2. I loved the Mormon Message video that we watched. It's always good to get a reminder about our "true identity" every now and then. I've been struggling a little bit with my PDs lately, but after getting that reminder from the lesson I felt more able to handle everything. I loved the quote at the end too. It's so true! Who are we not to be fabulous and wonderful? We are all children of God. When we think about our divine heritage it makes it easier to go through "growing pains" as we grow and develop here on earth, and especially right now while serving in BYUSA. I want to share that video and quote with my PDs now.

As funny as it sounds, I also thought it was good advice when we were told to "focus on [ourselves]." We need to focus on our divine self and understand our identity before we are able to help others. My mom gives me this same advice sometimes. She tells me, "There's a reason that the airplane safety videos tell you to put on your own mask before helping others." You aren't able to help others until you understand your role first. Sometimes we need to be a little selfish. :) 

Servant Leadership

  1. Servant leadership goes very closely with divine centered leadership in my opinion. I really liked the quote by President Monson that said, "Remember that the mantle of leadership is not the cloak of comfort but rather the robe of responsibility." Servant leadership is not easy, and like President Monson said, it's not always comfortable. Servant leadership is not asking those who work under you to do things that you won't do, and leading with humility and respect.

2. To me, my grandma is an excellent example of servant leadership. There many aspects of her life that exemplify servant leadership, but I can't discuss all of them here. One that really sticks out to me is sacrifice. My grandma is very considerate of those around her and often sacrifices her comfort to help others. She also is not afraid to admit her weaknesses. I think this is important, because none of us are absolutely incredible at everything we do. In a book I was reading recently, the chapter discussed how sometimes the really good leaders aren't the ones that know everything, but they surround themselves with people who specialize in those areas and together they are stronger than anyone was alone. With these two characteristics comes another one that I think fits hand in hand. Although my grandma doesn't pretend to know everything and she sacrifices for those around her, she takes the time to build herself as a person. You can't help others until you have helped yourself, and I think that personal development is essential to being a good servant leader as well as the specific leadership attributes.

3. I love the quote by Stephen R. Covey that is at the front of the office, “You’ll find that as you care less about what others think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves and their worlds, including their relationship with you.” I was talking to Karen about this last night. We were talking about how to get volunteers to be accountable and to take action proactively. She told me that maybe I need to think more about the development of my volunteers than the success of the programs. In Sarah's lesson for our retreat she used a quote by Barbara Johnson that teaches us that "a problem to be solved is never more important than a person to be loved." If we love those we work with, we will be more willing to help them, and they will be more willing to do what we ask of them. Good businesses and work relationships (and relationships in general) are based on trust and respect.

Divine Centered Leadership/Motive

1. There are many things that motivate me to volunteer as a leader in BYUSA. My motives have definitely changed since June though. At first I was in it for somewhat selfish reasons. I liked the way that volunteering made me feel and I felt like I was growing as a leader. Since fall has started and we have really got things going though, my motive has shifted away from myself a little bit and shifted onto how I can help my PDs and committee members. I absolutely love seeing them grow and learn. A few days ago I was talking to one of my PDs (Emily) and she told me that she was going to head up to the office for a little bit to fill out EAFs. I asked her if she needed any help, and she said that she was good to go. I was so excited! Not necessarily because I was the one that taught her how to do all that, but because she had started to grow as a leader and fit in to her role.

 2. I don't feel like I have any glaring problems of unrighteousness in my leadership, but there are definitely ways that I can improve. This is maybe a strange way to look at it, but I think that one of my struggles has been with self-confidence here at BYUSA. When I first came into the office I was very intimidated by those around me and I sometimes "hid my light under a bushel" as the Savior told us not to do. Sometimes I have struggled "letting my light so shine" because I don't want to be perceived as cocky or arrogant. But I think that there is a careful balance between being overbearing and being under confident. I have learned a lot so far this year and semester, and there is nothing wrong with letting that light shine through as long as it is done tactfully.

3. This might contradict what I said above, but in high school I loved the spotlight. I ran for student body president my senior year and made it pretty far. I lost the election, but everyone told me that I should run for senior class president. Usually the person who lost the student body president position won senior class, and I was excited to try it out. Through a series of events, I felt like I shouldn't run for president because of another position that had been offered to me as a member of the seminary council. I was torn, because I knew that I should accept the calling to be on the seminary council, but I had planned on doing student council for years. It was a big sacrifice to give up popularity for a calling, but I knew it was the best choice. 

This made a huge impact on my life that year. Through seminary council I learned things that I would not have been able to learn as senior class president, and I still improved as a leader. One of the most important things this experience taught me was to rely on Heavenly Father and to be guided by the Spirit in my decisions.

Empowerment

Self-efficacy: I will become knowledgeable about my job here in BYUSA. I will know the details of my programs and the basic advertising process that those programs will go through.

How I'll do it: I will read the histories of the programs (if those histories exist) and talk to those individuals who know more about it than I do. This list of people could include VPs, coordinators, past program directors, etc. I can follow up on this with my team because once I am prepared with the information I can share it with others.

Self-determination: According to the source of all knowledge (google) self-determination is "the process by which a person controls their own life." The talk I read for the conflict blog post has been on my mind lately and I have been thinking about how to make my life more balanced. I tend to work really hard and not leave a lot of time for relaxing, and so I want my life to be more balanced.

How I'll do it: I am better able to deal with things if I know what is coming and can plan ahead. I will be more consistent at writing down and prioritizing my assignments and responsibilities and make specific time in my schedule to unwind and relax. :) I don't really feel like I need to inform the Comms team on how I'm doing with this, but I will know if I am or am not following the schedule I have made.

Personal Consequences: I want to be a effective leader of leaders and make an impact on my program directors and their committee. However, at the end of the year I don't want them to say, "Mallory was a good ED because she did..." I want them to say, "Mallory trusted me enough to let me make my own decisions and lead the program in the direction of my vision. She was helpful, but allowed personal responsibility."

How I'll do it: I had a great conversation with Tamara about stretching our volunteers to become their better selves. I think that the points we talked about in the lesson (vision and values, provide support, provide information and resources, etc.) are a great start. If I can practice those principles then I can teach those principles to my PDs and it can go down the chain.

Meaningfulness: As part of the Communications Vision that we established, we talked about making every person who comes into the office feel valued. This idea really hit home to me. If we can make all the volunteers feel welcome then our organization will be more successful.

How I'll do it: I will get back to all the volunteers that call or e-mail me, as well as greeting everyone that I talk to or give a tour to a warm welcome and a smile (as cliche as that sounds).

Trust: I want all my PDs and their committees to feel like they can trust me with the struggles they are having with the programs. I want them to know that I will listen and help them however I can.

How I'll do it: Trust is something that is built up over a long period of time. I will build that trust by replying to their e-mails and phone calls promptly, and by listening to them whenever they come to me with questions. 

Conflict

The conflict resolution skill that I chose to work on this week was managing emotions. I tend to get really emotionally involved in what I'm doing and sometimes that becomes a problem. So for the past little while I have been trying to work on maintaining balance and not let my stress take over. And since this is the end of the term, we all have lots going on, so this was a perfect time to practice this skill. :)

I read a really great talk on lds.org that was given by Robert K. Wagstaff titled "Preparing Emotionally for Missionary Service." I'm not serving a mission anytime in the very soon future, but I hope to someday and so this talk seemed to fit well with that goal and also my goal of maintaining balance. The talk gave eight suggestions on how to be emotionally prepared for a mission, but I think it can also be applied to life in general, and it definitely helped me.

Seeing as I can't post the whole wonderful talk here, I'll just go through a few highlights. The first point I want to address is to "practice living a balanced life." College can make this easier, and also harder. It's easier to be balanced because for the most part, the only person you have to worry about taking care of is yourself. College is a great time to do new things, and learn a lot about yourself. However, it is also hard to be balanced because we are all being pulled in a million directions. One thing that I liked about the article is that it said, "Using a day-planning system and taking part in extracurricular activities can help young people learn to manage time and meet deadlines. Examples include holding a job or participating in activities such as sports, drama, clubs, student government, or community service." Participate in student government and service? Hmm... :) I think that this has some merit to it. When I am involved and spending my time becoming better, I feel better about what is going on in my life.

Another part that I really liked was the part that said, "They may feel distressed when the demands of being a missionary show them weaknesses they had never encountered before. But, as the prophet Ether taught, recognizing our weaknesses can teach us humility and reliance on the Lord and success in overcoming our weaknesses (see Ether 12:27)." Although this is talking about missionaries, I think it can apply to me. I have learned a lot about myself during this short term, but I also can relate to the idea that I have been shown weaknesses that I didn't know I had. And what a great opportunity I have to make those weaknesses strengths.

I had a great conversation with Sarah today about this article and what I have learned this week. We talked about how we've been commanded to be perfect, but we don't have to be perfect right now. Perfection right now for us is a journey. I still have a long way to go, but I feel like this week was a good learning experience for me.